David Ritz has led business, government and civic organizations for nearly four decades. His experience building and leading successful organizations have taught him what works and what doesn’t.   The long-term success or failure of any organization, regardless of size, market, or mission ultimately hinges on effective leadership.

David Ritz shares his thoughts and observations regarding effective leadership here as a means of helping current and aspiring leaders meet their personal and organizational goals.

Coach to Win

David Ritz is a firm believer in being a caring, compassionate coach. Have you ever thought about the difference between a Soccer coach and a football coach. During the game a football coach is in constant contact with his players. In fact the quarterback and captain of the defense have speakers in their helmets so the coaches can always be talking to them. The other players come to the sideline every few minutes or the coach yells from the side of the field to give them directions. A soccer coach doesn’t see me much once the game starts. He hast to rely on training and everything he has told them during the week prior to the game.

From the coaches perspective, which sport is easier to coach? Which sport do you have the most opportunity to change the players behavior once you see things going awry?

How does this tie into the workplace? If you are like an American football coach you can constantly observe the players and give them minor course corrections, words of encouragement, or coaching tips on a regular basis. If you see something say something. Don’t waste an opportunity to improve your team’s performance.

David Ritz argues that a good coach finds a way to cut through the noise and makes a connection. Listening, being loud, being quiet, being compassionate, whatever the receiver needs the coach finds a way to make a connection. 

Does anybody watch Ted Lasso? Coach Lasso has a saying: “Be curious not judgmental”. What does that mean? Ask why somebody feels like they do or why they did what they did - don’t judge how they feel, think or act before trying to figure out why. Be curious.

To be understood, you must first understand.

David Ritz believes when it is time to sit down and have that crucial conversation with an employee (or a loved one) it is always important to hear their side of the story first. How many times have you had a conversation with somebody and all you can think of is “I wish this person would quit talking so I can get my point across.”

Well, the person you are talking to may be thinking the same thing. If you really want to get your point across, you need to let them talk first. Let the other person get things off their chest. Once they are sure that you understand their point of view, then they will be open to understanding your point of view.

David Ritz usually tells his students that the most important part of letting the other person go first is; it may completely change the story you were about to tell. If you were having this conversation in order to change their behavior, it is important to understand why they were acting the way they are. Often times they may  have a perfectly reasonable explanation of doing what they are doing. Until you know why they are acting the way they are, it is difficult to change their behavior.

In psychological terms, there’s something called a Paradigm Shift. This is when your view of the world suddenly changes. David Ritz likes to tell the story of a trip on an airplane:

Imagine you are boarding a plane for a two hour trip. As you take your seat you notice two small children and a young mother sitting behind you. You notice them because the kids are already fighting and causing a commotion - before the plane even takes off. You think yourself “Oh no, this is going to be a long trip!”

Sure enough, the kids continue to scream and bang on the back of your seat during the trip. You look over your shoulder to give the mother a dirty look and she simply stares out the window, ignoring the kids. You think to yourself, “Come on mom, pay attention to your kids and get control of the situation.” The trip is fairly miserable for you as the kids continue to act out for two hours. You think this young mother could use a few lessons on raising her kids.

The plane finally lands and you stand up to get your luggage out of the overhead compartment. The mother stands up beside you and says, “I apologize if my children bothered you on the trip. Their father just died and we are heading to the funeral.”

Suddenly, your opinion of the mother changes. Instead of a bad mother, you understand the difficult position she is in. During the trip her thoughts must have been about how she was going to survive this new life without her husband and father to her children.

This is why it is important to get the other persons point of view first. Your view of a problem employee may be: They don’t care about their job, they are lazy, they have a bad attitude, or some other negative perspective. In reality they may not know how, why or what to do. Or perhaps they’ve been doing it wrong because they misunderstand the standard for that job. Regardless, until you know their point of view it is hard to change their behavior. 

Show empathy, and be sure you understand where they are coming from before you try to convince them of your point of view.